2/52 Down in the DM

I’m very private about current events, which makes this one of the most intimate posts I’ve written. But if anyone deserves an exception to my personal privacy settings, it’s you Mzezman.

 7^th November 2015. The day I had finally had enough.

I was going through some of the biggest heartbreak of my adult life and was still trying to find my centre. Everything I thought I knew about adult relationships had been tested and found wanting. Left with nothing but time and my thoughts, I went back to my vision board and took a critical look at what I was searching for in a partner. On that board, I had listed them: God fearing, family oriented, humble, generous. When I looked at that list with my eyes glazed over from the hurt in my heart, I immediately recognised that I had veered from what truly mattered and was inadvertently inviting heartache into my life. Somewhere along the line, I had started subscribing to other people’s notion of partnership. I had started relating to people in a way that was not authentic, which did not honour who I was and what I needed in my life. I had drifted away from what really mattered, and put more emphasis in the fleeting and fickle. So, when I sat there looking at this list I knew that the only way this man would manifest would be by first surrendering what I thought I knew by putting ALL my faith in God. And getting some standards.

I started blogging as a means of voicing some of my frustrations because in my mind, the walk by faith was going to be long and likely yield some really interesting experiences. Little did I know that it would be the path that lead me to you.

you are the love that came without warning

Faith is an odd thing. When you stop psyching yourself out, making a plan for every possibility and just allow God to handle business, He does so in a braggadocious way. Our story was scripted so perfectly from how we ‘met’ on Twitter and took it to the DM, surprise wine shipments and care packages of Battlestar Galactica. I first fell in love with your spirit and how your soul speaks to mine. One of the things that I love most about you is your big heart. Your generosity and selflessness are breathtaking. Being with you makes me want to be a better person, want to be more selfless so that you don’t have to be. I am so excited to grow together with you, one mud monster at a time.

This is one part of a 52-week post a week challenge on gratitude. You might also enjoy reading other parts of this series. Click here to see more.